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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Can I Sleep Now?

"Thank God You're Home!  Can I Sleep Now?" Of course these are nearly the first words I said to my Big Bear when he walked in the door from his 3 day trip to New York.  I am so out-of-sorts when he goes away.  I'm like a child who wants to crawl under the covers and hide for 3 days straight.  I hate it when he leaves me in charge of the house, the kids, the dog, the cookin'.  I just want to *bleEcK* get sick and have my neighbors take care of me. 

When he's gone and it gets dark outside I get a little nutty.  I check the locks on the doors and the windows at least a dozen or more times, my eyes keep darting around the room wondering who is standing outside with binoculars just waiting for their opportunity to wreak havoc on my life.  It's exhausting!  I don't sleep either.  No, really.  I don't sleep.  I might pass out for a few minutes, but I don't "sleep."  I lie in bed and toss and turn and toss and turn and then I'll get up and turn on and off the lights in Bob's office, then I'll go check on the kids, then I'll do a load of laundry (which needed to be done now that I think about it), but I hate to put the clean clothes away so they pile up.  Then I read, then I pass out for a few moments, then I eat chocolate ice cream, then I check my stats, then I, then I - WISH HE WOULD GET HOME ALREADY! 

Talk about needy!  This is ridiculous! Thank goodness I didn't have to work any heavy machinery or I'd be in real trouble.  I just can't function when he isn't here and to top that off - my mother is gone to Florida for an extended visit and I'm a complete disaster.  Not that my 84 year old mother can fight off villains or anything when Bob is gone, but I have a sick sense of security just having her here.  I never feel grown up when Mom is here.  Kind of like a kid who knows their Mommy will take care of them when the boogie man shows up.  And being that she has lived with us for 10 years, I've been a child the entire time - and I haven't seen any boogie men yet.  Now - I think I have to grow up. *Emphasis on "think."* Darn.  I was so enjoying this second childhood, until the sun goes down and I have to listen to the hoot owl in my back yard.  whooooo.  whoooo-whoooo.  whooo-whooooeee! 

Bob's home.  He's safe.  He's sound.  He's happy to be home.  Not as happy as I am I guarantee it.  "So, Sweetie, Can I go to Sleep now?"  "Yeap, and I'll even take the kids out to dinner while you nap."  I knew there was a reason why I married this man.


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