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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Gobble Gobble

SusanDrivingSusanDrivingEdited

Talk about having too much time on my hands!  As you may have noticed, I've been making some adjustments to the design of my blog (and to my nose and neck in Photoshop).  My microblog-adjustments make it easier to comment, too, because the comment box is at the bottom of the post.  Right there in front of your face.  You have to comment.  It's there.  It's the law.  I made it happen and besides, I insist. Except for those stinkin' spammers.  Go away.  I delete you anyway.  Does that make sense or did you just decide to close your laptop and pick your toes? 

For those of you who are still with me here - put it this way: I designed this blog - the whole dang thing - from scratch.  Well, almost.  I was also inspired by some of my favorite blogs to figure out a few things on my own, and motivated with the help of the TypePad knowledge base.  I am, however, still confused.  But I am learning, albeit at a snail's pace, how to be my own blog designer.  I'm right-brained and Mensa, what else can I tell ya?

So, I've been trying (among other things) to figure out how to make the comments more readable, friendlier, prettier, slippier, formaber, wittier, numberier.  That explains it, right?  Oh, and I want to make my homepage less bloggy and more designer feisty, snazzy, less crappy.  AND, I want you to like me.  I need you to like me - and read me.  It probably doesn't do me any good to try to make up a new blogging word like "formaber" to snag you on my wormy hook, but you can't blame a girl for trying can ya?

Now that I have attempted to extrapolate** more readers to my blog, I want you to know that you are appreciated.  Yep, I appreciate you for reading my Toaster of stories.  Thank you.  Leave comments too, please - even if you can't find them after you post them.  I read them.  All of them.  Every syllable and grammatical error, just to balance out the fact that you read all my syllables and grammatical errors and new blogging words.  That's only fair.  I really am nice.  It is my goal here to accommodate my readers with a very nice, high tech, classy, smooth, pleasing, happy blog site.  Okay? 

No, I have not been drinking.  Yes, I am currently on a Hydrocodone and cough suppressant induced scavenger hunt for a blog designer and more readers.  Wow, that Hydrocodone is Good stuff when you're sick.

If there are any weblog designers out there who can jazz me up, I'll barter with ya.  I'm cash poor at the moment as my Big Bear is currently out of work and we need to feed our family of 6 (Thanks a helluva lot AVAYA! You stinkin' ... whatever)  I'll advertise for ya,  I'll do a painting for ya, I will, hmmm, within reason, of course, do something really nice for ya, but I'd appreciate a true professional like Heather at Oh My Stinkin' Heck (hint, hint) to please help me polish up my Toaster.  I need a really good polish and organizer too.  Web Designer I am not.  Painter, yes.  Writer, that's debatable.  My English Composition professor would have a cow right about now with this post.  I can see the red marker pen doing everything short of scratching a big X over the whole darn thing and telling me to start over. 

But to keep you really interested in my Hydrocodone induced creative energy, take a look at these pictures:

SusanDriving

Now look at this one:

SusanDrivingEdited

THAT is exactly what I want to do with my Toaster - Miss Raisin Toast - get it?  I want a face lift, neck lift, nose job - by a blog design surgeon.  This is my midlife crisis, folks!  And then, if I get up the guts, I may actually go get one myself because Photoshop managed to take 10 years off my face with that stinkin' clone tool.  What a hoot.

** extrapolate:  To extend the application of (a method or conclusion, esp. one based on statistics) to an unknown situation by assuming that existing trends will continue (if my blog doesn't get a face lift soon it will have to be happy on its current path) or similar methods will be applicable (eg. the results cannot be extrapolated by the statistical analysis of other blogs, but I can hope, right?) 

Good word.  My free gift to you. 


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