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Monday, July 13, 2009

A Walk Through the Wetlands


No, this is not North Carolina.  No, I am not soaking up the sun and sand in Florida ... But Beth is!  Well, sorta.  Beth lives in Delray Beach, Florida and she has a high school reunion in the near future, so she wants to look hot.  Of course, that isn't going to be difficult for Beth because Beth has always been hot - and not because she lives in Florida either.  In my opinion, Beth turned 39 and never aged a day after. Lucky gal.


Being a resident of Delray Beach has its perks.  One of which is you can take a brisk walk through the wetlands with these turtles as you are running away from the alligators and swatting off the mosquitos.  But that's beside the point.  Beth has been taking her camera with her on these brisk excursions in an attempt to lose 5 lbs.  I wish I was right there with her, but for some reason I think the gators would probably get me.


So, Beth and I wanted to share with all of my readers what the Wetlands are all about, and besides, she enjoys the company while she walks. There is the  The Wakodahatchee Wetlands and the  Green Cay Nature Center and both are near her home.  How convenient.  Beth has been whooshing her butt around Green Cay for several weeks gettin' off those pounds.  Green Cay has a 1.5 mile boardwalk course and Beth has been making her mark on every board.  No doubt leaving tread marks from her walking shoes.


Wakodawhachamawhatayacallit is a shorter course, but she's been workin' that one too.  Now Beth, you had better send us pictures from your high school reunion so that we can see what benefits you survived from walking around the wetlands.


Check out those turtles walking on that palm tree.  I bet they have a high school reunion soon too.


Yep, that's quite the course.  I wouldn't have wanted to be the guys who had to stand in all that muck and chase off the gators when they were building the dang thing. In the Seminole language, Wakodahatchee means "Created Waters."  I wonder how they say Mosquito in the Seminole language?    


Beth had so much stuff to look at while swatting flies that she relaxed on her trek around the boardwalk.  Naaah, she doesn't need to burn the calories anyway.


Oh my.  A baby gator.  Just what Florida needs - more gators to scare off all the old people.


Check this fella out.  Her name is "Heron"  As oppposed to "Hison."  Get it?  ha ha.


They have quite the life, don't you think?  I mean, they don't have to worry about the economy or finding a job. They can just hang out on Pickerel Weed and look pretty.


And, did you know that the Cabbage Tree is the Florida State Tree?  Neither did I.  And for that matter, neither did Beth.


There are all sorts of prehistoric creatures wandering the boardwalk in Delray Beach.  This little guy has big ears.


And these guys (or gals) are hangin' out in green gunk.  Better known as "duckweed."  Bet you didn't know that did ya?


I'm sorry, but this stuff is just disgusting.  This fella doesn't seem to mind, though.  He probably doesn't know it's duckweed - as opposed to "heronweed."  It's not like there are any ducks nearby, so what does he care.


"Okay guys, gather 'round.  See that lady over there, she's spending a lot of time taking pictures and I think it looks suspicious.  You, Joe, you keep an eye out from behind.  Ralph, you and Hoocheeman keep an eye out on the East and West sides.  Me and Henry are going to keep an eye out from the front.  Make sure she doesn't take any pictures of the treasure we have buried underneath that dead palm tree, ya hear?"


Oh Lordy.  Beth, if I were you I'd get the heck out of dodge.


I mean really now, is the extra 5 lbs really worth it?


Beth, seriously.  Start running.  Burn some rubber please.  These gators eat old people.  Oh, you're not an old person?  I'm too far away for you to smack me. 


Ol for God's Sake!  Beth, start walkin' girlfriend!  He's got legs too ya know!  Then again, it's not like you are going to drive your car into the swamp.  That's what old people living in Florida do all the time.


Uh, "Hello mister gator.  Watched any football lately?" 


He's thinkin' about it, Beth.  But you look too young.  No blue hairs.  


Maybe on the next pass he'll give it some more thought.   Does she or doesn't she?  That is the question. Only Beth's hairdresser knows for sure.


Beth, you better watch out.  I'm tellin' ya girlfriend, he's comin' around to get ya.


But first he has to find his way through this muck.


Nope.  No sign of him comin' around the mountain.  You're free Beth!  Run!


No peekin' over the edge, Beth - just Run!  Run for your life!  That 5 lbs will be gone before you know it.




Hey!  You over there!  Save me!  Save me!  


"Oh hello there.  Have we met before?  As a matter of fact, I think we have.  Are you following me?"


Aw, look at da babies.  They've been procreating in the duckweed.


What a lovely day.  Especially since you outran that gator and seem to have outrun those vultures planning your surveillance.


Yep.  Looks like Beth had a nice walk through the wetlands.  No gators on this path thank goodness.


And now for your lesson in the wetlands.  And, what is that thing sticking its head out of the water anyway?  Maybe he's the jolly green giant.


There's your answer, and everything you ever wanted to know about duckweed.


Are they running for cover or sunbathing.  Hmmm.  Let me think about that a minute.


I dunno Beth, are you really going back tomorrow?  Better take a slingshot with ya just in case.

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