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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Is This All There Is?


What is that song?  That old one that goes "Is this all there is?"  I think I'm having one of those days where I've had too much time to reflect on my life, smile at some of the risky behavior of years past, and mope about opportunities lost that will probably never be.  Yep, it's one of those days.


I've spent my entire life living on the east coast of the United States, with a short detour through Missouri.  Not much to write home about if you ask me.  A very sheltered life.  Yet, in my dreams, I've traveled the world and been to all the places that I've ever wanted to go and experience - like Italy, Spain, Ireland.  


I even had a brain fart the other day and was looking for real estate in Ireland, home of my ancestors, and job opportunities for Bob.  I know, completely ridiculous.  I think.  


Really though, sometimes I just want to pick up and experience an entirely new lifestyle with my family - get the hell out of dodge you might say.


I'm being completely unrealistic but hey, I'm entitled.  Chances of traveling alone or with my family - for a short or a long stint in a romantic location oceans away are entirely unlikely in my lifetime.  Sad, I know.


I envy people who are so blessed as to have the resources to see the world, experience other lifestyles, see the beauty of God's creation from one end of the globe to the other.  How exciting would it be!!


That's it really.  That's my confession.  I want to be swept off my feet in Barcelona.  Kissed in the countryside of Tuscany.  Or spend a few lazy days in Kinsale.  Is that so much to ask?  


After yesterday's post "How to make your own shower curtain" I couldn't help but think "what the hell is so frickin' exciting about making a shower curtain?"  This is the pathetic existence of my life.  At least at the moment.  


Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and blessed.  I have a great husband and wonderful children.  I'm just not as blessed as I'd like to be.  But, I think most of us can make that statement - at least if we're being completely honest.  


I suppose that people who are blessed to travel the world and see the most magnificent places on earth ache for more, wish for something different, hope for something more normal.  What is normal?


I want romance and hot sex in the middle of a lush green field somewhere.  (I've done that by the way - the beach too).  Told ya I was risky.  That was in a past life.


I want to ride a bike (or a horse) down a quiet, peaceful country road in Italy ...


Or through Northern Spain.  I want to breathe the air on that side of the world and sit on this fence.


I want to admire these ornamental trees throughout Italy, then I want to hide behind these bushes with my Big Bear and sneak a kiss.


Oh well, maybe I'll dream about it tonight. 

So, there you go.  From shower curtains to Tuscany to Barcelona, from Kinsale to Dublin and then back to Northern Spain in a day. 

If nothing else, it has inspired me to paint - after I finish the shower curtains of course.


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