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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Unemployment and my Mother


At breakfast this morning, we determined that my mother was single-handedly responsible for the current economic climate and unemployment. 

You see, during breakfast - Bob was cooking (isn't he a honey), and the rest of us were sitting around the table eating and getting on each other's nerves when the phone rang.  After digging through all the model airplanes strung across the kitchen table trying to find the portable phone, I answered the 1-800 number that was calling.  I have a rule - if I say "Hello" and they don't answer within 3 seconds, I hang up.  That began a family conversation ...



Bob said that he is sick of creditors calling and actually telling us to borrow money from a friend to pay our outstanding bills (you see, if you have been around here for long and reading my blog, you know that my Big Bear has been out of work since Sept. 2008 - in other words, we're broke).  



Well, my mother had the perfect solution ... she said "tell them that your friends are on their calling list too and are calling you asking you for money.  That'll shut 'em up."  We laughed so hard our sides were hurting.  I actually spit my orange juice when she said it.  My mother - the family comedian.



Thing is, she began to tell us this story about how, when she and my father first married (in her early 20s), she got a credit card from Sears.  It was her first credit card and she did not know much about them accept that she could go to Sears and purchase drapes for their apartment and other things.  Then the bills started rolling in and she paid them, until she couldn't - and they started calling her and Dad every day.  So, one day, after taking the phone number from the lady who was calling her, she decided to get even.  One day she called the number.  The lady answered.  My mother waited a few seconds and then hung up.  Then she waited about another 30 seconds and did the same thing.  Then again.  And again for about 4 more hours. A few days later Sears called, but this time my mother noticed she wasn't talking to the same person.  My mother asked what happened to the lady she was originally speaking to ... the new lady responded "She quit."



So Bob, in keeping with the conversation, said, "Well, you can't do that anymore, the systems are automated," and I responded "that explains it.  After my mother's escapade with the collection agency, they developed automated systems and laid off all the people working the phones, causing an unemployment crisis of epic proportions.  Next thing you know, to save money, big corporations begin outsourcing their customer service personnel to the overseas market to save money."  To which Bob replied "SO! That's why this country is such a mess.  Your mother is single-handedly responsible for the unemployment crisis - the automated systems that replaced American workers - and outsourcing!  All because of her unpaid Sears Card!"

The laughing at our breakfast table was priceless. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!



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